I’m a Mess Too
Remember this past Tuesday when I posted My Top Tens? I specifically wrote that post so I could elaborate in this post, and that's because of a few similar comments I’ve received lately from clients.
Clients: “I just feel so guilty/angry/not enough/lost/like I should be doing more/like I’m always such a disaster/like I can’t ever get anything right…” Etc.
Me: “Yep. Yep. And yep! I feel you! Me too and all of the time.”
Clients: “REALLY?!? I had no idea…Elizabeth. Wow…I just…wow…that makes me feel so much better. I thought your life was…well, not perfect but I didn’t think you struggled with this stuff too.”
Excuse me while I roll around on the floor in hysterical laughter that immediately turns into rocking myself in the fetal position while uncontrollably sobbing.
To anyone who needs to hear this:
I’m a mess too and so is everyone else. Period.
Does this mean that we aren’t happy, can’t be happy, or don't have happy moments? Noperoo. It just means that if you’re one of those folks still waiting for that time when “Everything Is Finally Fine and Life Is Amazing Forever and Ever” or somehow believe that other people get to reach this state of bliss, just not you…
You’re wrong. Like, so wrong. Dead. Wrong.
Spoiler Alert: We’re all seated on the sweet baby monster roller coaster we call Life and we’re all hanging on with both hands just trying not to fall off.
I said that REALLY loud in my head as I was writing it for the people in the back.
With all of this said, let me be clear: Yes, I have come a long way in my personal journey. Yes, I have achieved a state of being that I never thought possible (with the amazing knowledge that I will keep rising to heights I still don't know are possible). Yes, I am happy, even when I’m miserable. Yes, I’ve figured out the answer (that worked for me) but I don’t think you’re going to like it…
Hard work. Damn hard work. Back-breaking, down-on-your-knees, mother fucking HARD ass work.
See? Told you that you weren’t going to like it.
I’m so sorry to report that there is no one action or one thing. There is no recipe or potion. There is no prescription or formula. I like to say I started this journey about 6 years ago but the truth is, I started it when I was born, and so did you. I say 6 years because that’s when I became conscious of my journey and the knowledge that if I wanted change, I had to change.
Here is the truth of what it takes to sort through all the muck:
curiosity + consistency + determination + self-awareness + research + learning + teaching + experience + observing + perceiving + shifting + dying + birthing + dying again + rebirthing + pain + joy + hard work…+ repeat
Here is why this is so hard for you:
you didn’t know you're the one in control of your journey + you don’t know where to begin + you have no one to point you in the right direction + you're not even sure what the problem is but you know you’re not happy + you feel like you’re waiting for something but you don't know what + everything you try ends in failure and you don’t know why so you give up + you’re lost everywhere and all of the time…
If you only had a toolbox and someone to help you add tools that could make some sense of all the confusion.
Yeah, I know you think I’m talking about me, and I am and I am not. All I’m saying is that if you’re reading this post and you feel like I wrote it personally for you, then you may want to consider that you need someone outside of yourself and your best friend to guide you through all that muck.
I did a whole bunch of work on my own but it was only made possible through the guidance of some very important people that came into my life. Some of them were trained, some of them were just really gifted. Some of them were both. Some of them are still in my life, some were fleeting gifts. Had I not had all of them and an ever-present inner ache to be happy, mixed with a whole bunch of persistence, I most certainly wouldn’t be writing this post.
Do yourself a favor: Don’t allow yourself to create a new normal at this level of dissatisfaction. Your life isn't happening to you; it’s happening for you and, unfortunately, growth is impossible without all the muck. The good news is that if you’re dealing with a lot of shit, it’s only because you’re at a pinnacle moment in your life where you’re being called out to transform into a new version of yourself. A better version. Answer the call, friend.
Don't mistake your struggles for fate; they are gateways to your destiny.
(P.S. Make no mistake, I wrote this post just as much for myself as I did for you. Remember…I’m a mess too.)
